My 4.5 year old went into pre-school the other morning like he always does, happy. He was greeted like he usually is every morning by some still sleepy classmates who don’t usually take kindly to my son’s morning cheer. This particular morning one little friend said something mean to my son. I almost asked the teacher to hold my earrings so I could go save my baby but instead I stepped back and watched. I saw my son shrug his shoulders, smile at his little friend and walk away. As I let go of the breath I realized I was holding it became really clear that I can learn a lot from my children. He instinctively knew to block out the noise and embrace that where he was at that very moment wasn’t where he needed to be. He wasn’t upset at his friend, he totally got that he just wasn’t ready to be as excited for the day as he was and was ok with that. So instead of making a big deal he turned his energy to others that wanted to play. I was proud of him and I also wondered where he learned that from b/c one of my biggest weaknesses is my ability, or lack thereof, to drown out the noise and focus on the things that are the most important.
This is most evident when trying to stay the course with my health. My expectations of myself are so high and with all that I have going on in my life the two usually collide leaving me not feeling the best. I actually cried last night in yoga because I had gotten an email from work before I stepped on my mat and couldn’t let it go. As I was attempting to do a three legged dog I just stopped, went into table top and cried. I cried because I couldn’t drown out the noise of my crazy job and I cried b/c my arms hurt really badly only 10 minutes into the class. BOOM the perfect collision of doubt that has been happening more frequently lately.
I woke up this morning beat and trying to figure out how to get out of my own way. I have made such progress since the beginning of the year but the reality that this is a life style change was weighing heavy. I wasn’t living up to my own personal expectations and even more I was allowing the noise to win. As I was getting deeper into the emotions I realized Colin was sleeping right next to me. I remembered that moment in school the other day, how he embraced the hurtful words, held no ill will and moved on. I needed to do the same for myself. I need to embrace that this is the beautiful life that I have built and even though it tends to be on the messy side I am showing up. My intention is always to be present not to be perfect. I now just need to believe that I am strong enough to execute that simple intention. So I did what any mom in 2015 does when light bulbs go off due to their children, I took a picture of my sleeping baby and went right to Instagram to share this moment with the world. What I was met with was a picture of Emily with the caption; “Move with purpose. Set intentions and goals, but never get hung up on expectations.” It was the sweet reinforcement I needed, that when blocking out the noise is impossible and your body isn’t meeting your expectations, your intentions are strong enough to squash the doubt. I hear you Colin and Emily, loud and clear.
In two weeks I turn 36 and in two weeks I start the next leg of my 6Fit journey. They both have their challenges and they both are going to be met with a fresh outlook from me. I never thought this was going to be easy but I didn’t expect that the hardest part of all of this was just going to be showing up. I guess Teddy Roosevelt had it right all these years; “Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty… “
Wishing you a happy spring and no orange fingers,
Mom of 3, wife, business owner, ballet teacher and fitness instructor. Trying hard to raise healthy, happy and grateful children while running the studio of my dreams. Trying to stay FIT, flexible, stylish and take care of myself in the process!