The diary of a completely normal mom….kind of.

*This post was submitted from our 2015 spokeswoman Chrissie. She takes classes in our virtual studio & natick studio and we love her honest posts about her life and fit journey!

I was talking to my dad the other day.  Who by the way is a soul sister I forgot to mention a few months back.  He is the large Italian dude version of me.  A statement I spent years trying to dodge but I now wear like a badge of honor.  He is the kindest man although you may be a little intimidated by him at first and put simply, he gets me.  As I was admitting some insecure feelings to him the other day on a ride to the beach he stopped me and said, “Don’t down grade who you are everyone else is doing that for you.”  I took pause.  Dad this is the moment you have waited 36 years for, you are right!

The truth is the journey I find myself on is hard.  The decision to choose fruit over ice cream is not a natural one for me.  I will always choose a marathon of NCIS over working out.  The hard reality is the things that are important to me are my family and my job.  Period, end of my story.  Yet deep down in my soul I don’t want to give up on myself or the goals I made back in January.

Last week I took a vacation, a well needed rest from my crazy life.  I have been struggling staying the course with my health goals and although I was working out my eating has not been on par.  By not on par I mean my diet consisted of pizza, ice cream, burgers and beer.   My mind was consumed by long days in the office and the fact that my boys are no longer babies.  Long gone are the days of just remembering to change their diapers.  Their needs are bigger, more complicated and weigh on me like a brick.  Also weighing on me was my public admission that I was ok and although I had hit a rough patch in May I was turning that ship, I never did.  Also, the jig is up, your lives cannot be as put together as you make it seem on FB.  If you really made your dinners from nothing but your garden and duct tape using only the light of the perfect sunset, I am going to need more proof than your pretty pictures.  I have to believe you were really at home eating pizza on your living room floor pretending with your kids it’s a picnic when you really just wanted to watch TV too.  Sigh. I am at a crossroads.

So after my vacation, which I cried a little but mostly pretended I was Spiderman to hear my boys laugh, I decided to not go left or right down that crossroads but straight.  Kind of like when Kelly choose to be single on 90210 over dating Brendon or Dylan, in season 3.  Why?  Well I have been realizing I am actually normal and the road I have gone down over these last 9 months was the route I was supposed to go.  I have realized a lot about myself on that road.  The insecurities of a few years ago have given way to a pretty confident late thirty something working mom.  That I can work with.  I don’t need validation from friends or colleagues to know that I am actually a successful woman.  The tough days are surrounded by some really great ones.  My kids are alive and adorable.  My husband still eats ice cream in front of me when I am working out and that makes me love him more.  I will probably cry 15 more times this week mainly b/c I stopped eating ice-cream every night.  All ok.

So this is where I am.  I may have gained a few pounds back, but who cares it is what needed to happen.  I wasn’t out for a quick fix but a lifestyle change and this is my life.   I do have one request; when you see me running down the road give me an atta girl. When you see me eating ice cream, grab a spoon.  When you see me having a bad day, give me a high five.  In return I will do the same. We may not be traveling the same road but how much better would our journeys be if we weren’t down grading ourselves or each other?

Wishing you a double rainbow and no orange fingers,

Chrissie
xoxoxoxox